Bittersweet Reminiscence
by Warui-Usagi
Summary: [Hiatus] Yuna knew. Tidus didn’t. She kept secrets. He kept worrying. Now she’s missing. Now…he’ll do whatever it takes to find her. [TxY] R&R.
1. Memories

**Bittersweet Reminiscence: Chapter 1**

**Memories**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Final Fantasy X-2.

Tidus' POV (after the flashbacks)

* * *

"_Tidus!" she ran at him through the shallow water, spreading her arms wide and engulfing him in a tight embrace. She couldn't believe it—after all this time, she would finally have what she wanted all along—he was back…now her life could begin._

"_I'm home," he whispered into her ear gently, pulling her closer to him still. _

"_I'm really home."_

* * *

"_I love you…"_

_This was the day she had been waiting for…dreaming for since she was a little girl. She honestly believed that in that frame of no more than a few seconds that she couldn't possibly be any happier. Not ever._

"_I now pronounce you husband and wife," the temple priest then turned to Tidus; a congratulatory smiled lighting his ancient features. "You may now kiss the bride."_

_As his soft lips caressed hers, she realized the rogue tears rolling down her cheeks. She was wrong. She **could **be happier. This was heaven—here, only a mere inch away from his widely grinning face. He was just as happy as she was…everyone was. In that moment, she wasn't aware of the crowds loud cheering._

_Only him…her husband._

_They would be together forever._

* * *

"_Come and feel! It's moving…we're going to be parents soon, isn't it fantastic?" She was ecstatic with joy over her pregnancy. Yuna couldn't believe that she was about to have everything that she'd thought she would have to sacrifice on her pilgrimage. It was almost surreal. To know that it happened only three years ago. He was happy too, although he had expressed his concerns about being a parent to his wife on more than one occasion, she had simply dismissed his negativity and regarded him as the best father-to-be she had ever known._

"_I bet it's a boy," he guessed, while rubbing soothing circles on her slightly bulging stomach. She giggled— he obviously would never change, not matter how much time passed._

_Are you saying that you wouldn't love the baby even if it was a girl?" Yuna questioned with mock horror, turning away. He laughed whilst wrapping his arms loosely around her waist, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "Of course not," he mumbled in response, fluttering kisses down her back. "But you have to admit…the way that baby has been kicking at you, it's highly doubtful it's a girl."_

_She wanted to fight him more on the subject, but his kissing and massaging was making it extremely hard to concentrate. _

_She gave in._

_He laughed._

"_I win."_

* * *

"_What do you mean you have to go? I need you."_

"_It's only for a couple of days," he protested, standing firm at the door, bags packed. "The Luca tournament only goes for about a week, you know that."_

"_Yeah but…what if the baby comes while you're away? What would you do then?" She was angry…more so then he'd thought possible._

"_Yuna, it's not due for at **least **another month yet. One week isn't going to hurt. Besides what do you want me to do? I'm their captain. They need me."_

"_**Tell them to cancel the game**!" she screeched, rubbing her temples to ward off an oncoming headache. "Please Tidus…I need you more then anything right now." She begged in much softer tone._

"_Yuna—" But she cut him off. _

"_You're such an arrogant jerk sometimes…can't you just think about something other than blitzball for one damn moment?"_

"_You don't understand!" the blitzer yelled back, his fingers balling into fists in frustration. "This is the biggest game of the year; we've been practicing for months…we can't just cancel it! You're overreacting about this whole thing."_

_But as soon as he said those words, he instantly regretted them._

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Fine. Leave." Her voice was low and dark. The silence that followed was almost tangible. Nobody seemed to know what to say._

_Then he broke it._

"_You're the one keeping me in the dark all the time, not telling me anything. I feel like I don't even know you anymore. I'm beginning to get the sense that this job of yours is more important to you then I am…then our family is."_

"_You know that's not true," she asserted firmly, taking a step towards him. "But the research we're conducting right now is secret. I've told you that already."_

"_Don't," Tidus warned. "Don't go using **that** as a justification for me not going to this game. For the past several months you've been constantly called away on 'duty', not coming home until the early hours of the morning…or sometimes for several days. I've been spending a lot of time on my own recently because you've been busy. I understand that. I recognize the importance of your position, but don't go getting angry at me for spending one week away from home because it's of sudden inconvenience to you."_

"_How can you say that?" she whispered, her voice breaking on the last word. But instead she shook her head violently, warding off any outburst of emotion. "Do you know what? I don't care. Leave. But don't expect me to be here when you get back!" She stormed past him then, heading straight for the door. He grabbed her by the wrist just as her hand came to rest on the handle._

"_Yuna, you can't go out now. It's pouring. You'll kill yourself and the baby." She didn't answer. Instead she flicked her arm out of his grasp and opened the door, getting reading to step outside. The sound of droplets smacking the ground greeted their ears, along with an icy draft of wind._

"_Yuna, close the door," he repeated his warning. But something in his voice made her step out past the threshold. He was almost daring her to try it. She was drenched immediately in a freezing downpour, soaked right through. The High Summoner began half-running through the village, trying to find her way through the thick sheets of rain._

"_Yuna. Stop. Come back inside," Tidus' voice rang out over the white noise of the downpour. He tried to reach once again for her hand but this time she backed away, widening the distance between them. "Don't touch me."_

"_Please," his voice was urgent…desperate. "Come home. Killing yourself isn't going to solve any of our problems." _

_She stood there for a moment, deliberating. He quickly became impatient though and once again made a grab for her. She dodged it, but his groping fingers found the sopping wet material of her shirt instead. He pulled her to him, and although she struggled against it, trying to dig her feet into the mud, he was able to overpower her and keep her firm and still against his chest. Eventually she just burst into tears, clawing at the dark cloth of his blitzball uniform. He tucked her head under his chin, waiting for her to calm down._

_He then picked her up and carried them back to their hut without another word. She lay limp and defeated in his arms, aside from her fists clenched tightly at his shirt, her head resting loosely against the smooth contours of his torso._

_That day, he didn't go to the blitzball tournament._

* * *

That was the worst fight we'd ever had. We didn't say another word to each other afterwards, both of us feeling as though we had lost a battle to one another. She had run out there trying to make a point about the state of our marriage and was overcome when I persisted in retrieving her. I had wanted to go and spend a week doing what I loved, and was defeated when I held her there in my arms amidst that storm—unable to walk away from her apparent neediness.

I had stayed with her just like she asked, but I knew that she was expecting me to get up and leave at any moment. I thought about it more than I probably should have, but I didn't go. I almost did. For lack of a better word I was furious. I just hoped that Jassu would be okay to lead for the tournament.

We lay in silence together in bed, neither of us willing to admit that we were wrong. I could feel the heat emitting from her body after the warm shower she had taken. We both lay on opposite sides of the bed as far from each other as possible. I soon grew tired of it though, and moved closer. She didn't turn around, but I still draped my arm over her waist and placed my face in her freshly washed hair. It was the same nostalgic vanilla sent. She stiffened at the gesture but I ignored it.

"I love you," I whispered into her ear gingerly. I wasn't about to say 'I'm sorry' as I was still rather angry. She seemed to know too. Yuna still didn't face me nor did she even acknowledge what I'd said. Instead I felt her relax under my loose embrace. She then spoke her first words I'd heard her say in over 5 hours.

"Goodnight Tidus."

I guess in that one moment of wordless communication, we agreed to disagree.

Of course, during those last, precious weeks…with her body so close to mine…I had absolutely no way of knowing just how deadly Yuna's research had truly become.

* * *

A/N: Another story from me. I came up with this somehow, deciding to try something a little different. I'm writing this purely for fun because I like it. For those who don't understand, the flashbacks start from when Tidus returned right through to his marrying Yuna and her falling pregnant. Of course they are not exempt from fights, just like a normal couple.

Chapter 2: _Secrets_, will be posted next week.

Reviews of praise and/or constructive criticism would help and are always greatly appreciated. No flames though. Enjoy.


	2. Secrets

**Bittersweet Reminiscence: Chapter 2**

**Secrets**

A/N: Decided to update early. :D

* * *

I was groggy that morning as I tried to see through pinched eyelids. The light filtering into our bedroom was strong and harsh. We really needed to get better curtains. I knew that there was no getting back to sleep now. I groaned inwardly as I rolled onto my back and stretched. Of course I was instantly aware that my wife was no where to be seen amongst the sheets. It didn't surprise me though; it was like this a lot lately. She was almost up and gone even before I opened my eyes.

It was then that the incident of last night came back to me. I slapped my forehead and jumped out from the covers, trying to find something to put on quickly. I eventually found my blitzball shorts in the corner of our room, crumpled in a small pile. I threw them on, stumbling clumsily a few times as I struggled to get my legs through the holes. Eventually I got them on and found my way out into the kitchen, searching for her anywhere. I did a quick search and then realized that she probably wasn't home anyway. With an angry growl I stalked into the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. I was surprised when I saw who was relaxing against the counter, waiting for coffee.

"You're still here."

"Yes," she was refusing to look at me, but at least we were talking now.

"Why?" I asked genuinely curious. Unfortunately I was unable to keep the slight edge of anger from voice, but she ignored it.

"Because," she started, swiftly glancing at my face from underneath her dark lashes, "I just…didn't go." She turned away from me then and helped herself to her piping hot beverage and promptly sat down at the table without another word. I waited for more, but I could see that she had no intention of saying more on the subject. So, still feeling rather irritated, I silently went about gathering myself a bowl of fruit and settling down at the other end of the table, fork in hand. The silence then was just like it always was between us in whatever amount of time we spent together in each other's presence. Awkward.

And I knew that, for whatever reason, it couldn't go on any longer.

"Yuna," I made a point of meeting her gaze across the table. I could tell from the wary look in her eyes that she had no intention of striking up a conversation. "Yes?" She questioned innocently, no doubt feigning ignorance in order to evade the discussion. It was inevitably going to come up sooner or later, surely she must have known that.

"I think we need to talk."

"About what?"

"Last night, for one," I offered lightly. I saw it all play out on her face as I said those words. Her jaw tightened and her eyes glazed. Almost instantly she jumped up out of her seat and began clearing the table. It wasn't until she'd turned on the faucets, her back facing me, did she even decide to speak.

"There's no point," she said simply, finishing quickly and changing the subject. "I'll be in the nursery if you need me."

"Yuna," I warned in low, harsh tone. She stopped immediately. I came up behind her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. "Why are you going to so much trouble to avoid this?"

"Do you…want to leave?" She asked suddenly, her voice thick with implications. She must have known I had picked up on them, because she seemed to try and correct herself. "For Luca I mean."

"I'm not going." I sighed. The thought had just brought up more undirected anger. "But I think you still need to explain to me why you were being so insistent on me staying when you're constantly out all the time."

"I just…wanted to spend time with you. I'm always so busy and I never get to see you as much as I want anymore," she began to explain, but I was already dissatisfied with her answer.

"But that's _your _choice," I interrupted, letting some of my frustration out. "You could stop anytime you want…you don't _have _to do this Yuna. You could give in at any time…"

"I can't," he voice was barely audible, I had to strain my ears to catch it. This whole scene was disturbingly familiar…it was her pilgrimage all over again. And it only made me even angrier.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't like my work."

I probably shouldn't have kept going. After all she had just sacrificed the rest of her pride by admitting she was wrong. I should have been happy. But I couldn't let the conversation close. Not yet.

"It's not that I don't like it…I just want to know what it is that you're doing," I continued. Letting out all of this pent up frustration was starting to feel really good. "All of the secrecy really makes me wonder."

She finally turned to face me then, a fragile smile painted on her lips, eyes cautious. "You know that I work with Nooj, Baralai and Gippal to keep Spira steady. There are still quite a few people who are uneasy in this new time. I merely give them guidance, as well as helping the other leaders maintain peace between their respective organizations. We also have several research projects as well."

"I know that," I snapped. "That's what you always tell me."

Her eyes roamed my face for a moment before darting away. She shrugged, "that's all that I do."

This whole innocent charade was really starting to get on my nerves. She knew that I knew she was hiding something from me. She spent hours and hours researching books and ancient texts…even at home. Often times I would walk in the door only to find her asleep at her desk, her head resting gently on top of something work related. I was really starting to worry. I was afraid that this whole unpleasant routine would continue even after the baby was born, and that was a thought I was definitely not willing to tolerate on any level.

She took advantage of my obvious inability to speak at that moment, as I was too lost in my thoughts to even put a coherent sentence together. "I'm going for a shower now if you don't mind," she announced quietly, casually strolling off in the direction of the bathroom, her hand resting gingerly on her bulging stomach. I watched her go. She was humming an unfamiliar tune as she went; the soft melody echoing down the hallway, throughout the entire house. The apparent happiness in the music only irritated me further. She was definitely keeping something from me.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my trance. I went to open it. Before the door was even open a crack I could already tell that it was raining again, the cold draft a clear indicator of the weather.

"Hey Brudda!" Wakka exclaimed, slapping me playfully on the shoulder. "What's up?"

Wakka…definitely a welcome and entertaining distraction—he was drenched from head to toe! His usually stiff, gelled hair now looked more like a ragged mop, his flaming locks hanging in large, disorientated clumps around his bulky face. I had to stifle a laugh.

"Having a bad hair day?" I asked playfully, nudging him gently in the side.

He frowned. "Hey, cut that out! You should be grateful! I didn't come all this way through the rain just to say 'hello' you know. You're not _that_ greater friend," he said, evening the score.

"Then what _did _you come here for exactly?" I asked seriously this time.

"Well, actually I came here to deliver a package for Yuna—care of Rikku," he explained, pulling out a small, orange sphere. "She insisted that I give it directly to Yuna, but I suppose you'll do. I don't understand why she didn't just give it to Yuna herself. I mean, I'm not her personal postman!"

He plopped the eerily glowing orb in my hands. For some odd reason I shivered, the surface feeling unnaturally cold on my fingertips. "I'll tell her you dropped it off for her," I said. "Thanks Wakka. I'm sure she'll really appreciate it."

"Nah, it was nothin'." He waved his hands in front of his face, obviously embarrassed. "How's she doin'? Everything going okay?"

"Yeah," I offered weakly, unconsciously balling my fingers into fists at my sides. He didn't seem to notice.

"That's good to hear." A wide grin flashed across his face, "maybe now she'll take it easy," he whispered. I could hear the concern in his voice; he wasn't convinced either. It was comforting to know that I wasn't the only one who didn't like what her job did to her.

Unfortunately, I couldn't for the life of me keep the previous dejection from my voice when I answered. I was grudgingly honest. "I don't know Wakka. I don't think she'll ever slow down."

He picked up on my meaning and tone immediately. His voice went down to a wary murmur. "Did you guys have a fight?"

"Not really," I lied.

"That's okay…things will work out eventually," Wakka seemed to see that I didn't want to talk about it. I was grateful that he didn't push it any further. He didn't need to be fretting about my problems. He had his own concerns to worry about…his own family to look after.

"Thanks again buddy," I tried to give him a genuine smile; anything to stop him worrying about us.

"No prob!"

I watched him leave, half running back to the other side of the village through the downpour. With a depressed sigh I closed the door with the sphere in hand. I wasn't even going to look at it. I had originally planned to do what I always did with Yuna's things and put them on her desk for her to find later. But as I sat there on the couch, rolling it around loosely in my palms, I began to wonder…what was on it? I shook my head violently, trying to dispel those thoughts. After all, it really was none of my business.

But then another part of me argued that maybe here, on this sphere were some clues as to why my wife was being so secretive about everything concerning her job. I couldn't here water running through the pipes, but the light was turned off in our bedroom—she had gone to sleep. It would probably be whole bunch of stuff that I wouldn't understand anyway, so what does it matter if I see it or not?

Hesitantly, I turned it on.

At first, it was dark, and I could see nothing but static. Eventually though, a figure began to form in the projecting image. I slowly began to make it out, the familiar face and features turned out to belong to a certain Al Bhed I knew—Rikku. She was positioned on a bed or couch from what I could see. The contours of an unidentifiable plain white room reflected in my eyes.

"_Hey Yunie!" she chirped in her usual casual and happy tone. "I can't believe that you're going to be a mother soon! I'm so excited!" the camera's vision blurred suddenly for a moment as movements knocked it around. "I get first dibs on a cuddle! I bet Tidus is looking forward to it…" her voice grew solemn at the sound of my name and I couldn't fathom why._

_Her voice then grew very serious. So much in fact that I was having a hard time believing it was the same person's image in front of me. "Anyway, I managed to get a hold of those files you asked for. I sweet-talked Gippal into doing me a favor. It seems that Rin is planning the first trial in a few days. It was a direct order from Baralai…but…" she hesitated for a moment, reaching out of view for something resting on the dresser beside her._

"_Listen…I think you should tell Tidus what you're up to with Rin. I know that you hate it when I but in on your marriage problems, but give the guy a break, he's worried about you. And to be honest, so am I. I don't like the idea of you getting so involved with him. Baralai is up to something too. Something bad is happening, Yunie so I really think you should just forget all this and stay with your family. Don't do something stupid that you'll regret later…"_

"_Rikku!" She was cut of by another familiar voice._

"_Dammit!"—she turned to the doorway, and there I could see Cid, her father in his traditional yellow jumpsuit. And he was looking rather perturbed about something—"be there in a sec dad."_

And with that, the image disappeared.

I turned the sphere off and sat silently for a few moments contemplating. What had Rikku said? 'Tell Tidus about what you're doing with Rin'? What **_was_** she doing with Rin? What 'files' did Yuna ask for? What was this trial she was speaking of? More importantly, why did Yuna care?

I got up from my seat, my head spinning with questions. Slowly I made my way to our room, where I knew my wife was sleeping. I placed the sphere on her desk and stood there for a few moments in the doorway, watching her chest rise and fall with her quiet breathing in the dim light. It was amazing how quickly my worries disappeared whilst watching her. Her hair was still rather damp from her recent shower, her jeweled eyes sealed shut. It was relaxing…yet at the same time, unnerving. Rikku's message had made me uneasy, and I was suddenly filled with an urge to shake her awake and demand to know what she had meant. It was then that I felt my chest abruptly tighten with rage…I recognized the feeling instantly.

But surely Yuna wouldn't…

I couldn't even think about it. My eyes started stinging and I knew what was coming. Instead I immediately dismissed the thought, rationalizing with myself that there was no point in getting upset until I had talked to her. I then carefully slid in under the covers next to her, rolling onto my side. It was the middle of the day and yet, I found myself actually _wanting_ to sleep. Yuna had random naps all the time when she was home. I had always guessed that it had something to do with the baby.

Cautiously, I draped an arm over her chest, before pulling her closer to my side. She tucked herself more comfortably at my side in response.

* * *

That afternoon, I held onto Yuna more tightly then I think I ever had before.

That night, I dreamt.

And as I dreamt, Yuna screamed.

* * *

A/N: Okay, for those who maybe confused, this chapter takes place after that fight Yuna and Tidus had in the first chapter. The little part at the end is Tidus _later_ on in the story, looking back on what's happening. Got it? Meh, don't worry, all we be explained in the next chapters. This story in majority has already been written and I promise I will update frequently—unlike my other fic, which will possibly be deleted. I can't see that one continuing.

Chapter 3: _Loss,_ will be posted next week.

Please Review.


	3. Loss

**Bittersweet Reminiscence: Chapter 3 **

**Loss**

* * *

If only I had known then, just exactly why what happened, occurred in the first place.

No. That's a lie; I did know. I just didn't listen. I didn't _want _to listen.

That day, I lost a part of her.

And I knew…I knew that I would never see it again.

* * *

_I didn't know where I was. The surroundings were unfamiliar and alien to my eyes. Somewhere in the back of my conscious, I think part of me knew this was a dream._

_An endless stretch of bleached white sand lay under my feet, contrasting brightly with the dark, deep blue of the ocean. This wasn't Besaid…it was too big…too cold, despite the shining sun above my head. I was slightly aware of the jetty further down the coastline, housing a number of house boats. It wasn't until my eyes came full circle, did I realize the beautiful brunette standing at the edge of the shore, the waves lapping gently at her bare feet. She was gazing out past the ocean, her bi-colored eyes set on the horizon's display of sunset. But what was even more bizarre, was that her eyes were dark, the sun reflecting no light off them whatsoever. As usual, both hands rested gently on her bulging stomach…_

"_Yuna!" I called, a smile flashing across my lips at the very sight of her._

_She didn't answer…she didn't even move._

"_Yuna!" I tried again, walking up to her side to catch her attention. Still, she didn't respond._

_Something then flickered out of the corner of my eye, and I turned to check it out. It was then that I saw it—a solitary black shadow heading towards us at a rather leisurely pace. Strangely enough, it kept moving in and out of focus. It was almost blurry, and its frame seemed to be quite loosely defined; shifting now and then within my sight, always remaining unclear even as it approached._

_I backed away instinctively, attempting to pull my wife with me, but it was like she was stuck there—stiff and glued to the sand like a statue. I pulled harder, with the same fruitless result. I began to panic then, unable to think clearly as I watched the black figure continue its progress. I kept pulling, this time putting all my strength into it, and yet still she never budged an inch._

_I tried to stand firm, fighting back the fear and my rapidly pounding heart. I turned around, trying my best to move her again, and after what seemed like the thousandth failing, I gave up, defeated. Slowly, I returned to my original position, only to find that the shadowed, undefined, yet disturbingly sinister face only inches away from mine._

_I jumped back quite far, almost screaming I got such a shock. I heard it giggle, probably at my reaction. Whilst I still couldn't get a sharp perspective on its body, I could make out the small wisps of dark matter dancing around its well built frame; almost like a black fire had engulfed his entire being. It then began morphing a facial expression similar to my own which I thought, at first, was mocking my own._

_It strolled up casually beside Yuna, looking her up and down before returning its gaze to me—an animated smile adorning his rough lips. I scowled._

"_That's a beautiful girl you have there," he made a point of gesturing towards her, his smile still in place. Again I thought he was mocking me, as his voice sounded impossibly similar to mine. _

_He returned his gaze her, once again appraising her in an almost condescending sort of way. "It's just too bad though that she enjoys sticking her nose into other people's business," he shook his head slowly to emphasize his point, and I almost wanted to punch him then. But I was too scared to speak. He was much more serious when he continued._

"_Tell her to stop digging," he demanded. His tone was so horrifying that it made me want to run for the hills. "Because all she's doing is digging herself a nice little grave." He snickered again. "It would be such a pity for such a pretty girl to have to rot don't you think?" He walked up behind her frozen figure, running his dark, flaming arms down her neck and along her collarbones. Yuna didn't even flinch under his touch; she remained as immobile as ever._

"_Yes…a real shame," he whispered in her ear, caressing her neck. That was the last straw. _

"_H-Hey!" I interjected harshly, trying to keep my voice steady. Unfortunately, its reaction was far from the desired effect._

_He grunted. "And so he speaks. And here I was thinking you were a mute," he teased, his voice remaining high pitched and quite jovial._

"_Leave her alone," I threatened more firmly this time. He still seemed unfazed though._

"_Alright. Heel lover boy," he chuckled darkly. "Just pass on that message and I won't have to touch her at all."_

_I laughed this time, my sudden confidence surprising me. I watched his expression morph from a teasing happiness to one of insulted astonishment. "She doesn't listen to me. I've already tried to talk to her about it, but she insists on continuing with her work. It'll take a lot more than some stupid dream I had to stop her. Besides, why are you so shaken up over a little research?"_

_He sniggered blackly. "Oh? Has she been keeping you in the dark about her little escapades?" He chastised._

"_No. We don't keep secrets from each other," I lied. He didn't buy it of course. _

_He merely smirked, seemingly ignoring my defense. "It doesn't matter anyway," he said dismissively, turning once more to my wife._

"_I'm truly sorry about this," he spoke sarcastically, obviously unable to keep himself from smiling. "But it really is for your own good."_

"_Wh…What are you doing?" I asked breathlessly._

_He turned, his expression had disappeared now, molding back into the same bland canvas as before. "I can't have what I want, so neither can she."_

_Surprisingly, effortlessly, he turned her to face him, although her expression still remained frozen. He looked at her, stroking one of her still cheeks, smiling. "This will be the second time I hold you," he whispered to her softly before gently pressing his lips to hers._

_My breath stopped when that happened…so did my heart. What did he mean 'second time'?… I wanted to walk over and rip him away from her, beat him, kill him…so many scenarios forced themselves through my mind. But I resisted, knowing all too well that it would do me no good. I knew that he stayed like that with her longer than necessary just to tease me. I almost cried myself when I saw the small rivets of tears flowing down her cheeks…_

_And then he broke away. _

"_This is my final warning," the shadow announced, taking a step back. "I will get my way."_

_And just before everything went dark, I swore I heard Yuna screaming. _

* * *

"No!" I screamed, wrenching upright in bed, my body soaked in a cold sweat. My head whipped around in worry, only to find Yuna still there next to me; sleeping peacefully, unharmed. My heart-rate slowed, along with my breathing as I slowly lowered myself back down onto my pillow. "Just a dream…" I breathed, rolling back onto my side and pulling my wife closer to me once more.

Beside me, Yuna groaned and shifted uneasily under my arm. At first, I paid it no mind, well aware that it was quite normal behavior for her whilst she was sleeping. But when she moaned again, louder this time, I glanced over and shook her gently. She was obviously having a nightmare…probably a good idea to spare her of it.

"Yuna?"

As if response to my question she groaned louder, almost screaming. She abruptly began squirming about amongst the sheets, clammy moisture breaking out across her forehead and tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.

"Yuna…what's wrong?" She started heaving for air as the color suddenly drained from her face, eyes clenched shut. Either this was just a really bad nightmare, or something was horribly wrong. Of course, knowing my luck, it was probably the latter. I forced her upright, her entire body tense and shaking with broken sobs. I didn't have a clue what to do…

"Tidus…it hurts…" She managed to get out, squeezing my arm tighter then I thought was humanely possible. I used my other hand to take hers, both relieving the pressure on my muscles and showing her that I was there; well aware she was in pain.

"I'm right here. Don't worry," I soothed. She winced again, her free palm flying to her stomach, clutching at it as she bent over in agony. Dream forgotten and not wasting another moment, I roughly threw her up into my grasp, her small frame balled protectively against my chest as I dived out of bed, through the house and out into the lukewarm night. It was a full moon tonight, the village bathed in a cool white light, allowing me to find my way to Wakka and Lulu's hut. It was the only alternative I could think of that could offer Yuna any kind of relief.

"**Lulu**!" I screamed, knocking on the door as loud as I possibly could with Yuna in my arms. "**Lulu**! **Wakka**!"

I continued in my relentless pursuit for there attention for several minutes, well aware that the woman in my arms was getting worse. I almost gave up, when someone finally answered the door.

"Man…it's like two o'clock in the morning man…what's with the-" He stopped dead when he saw who was in my arms.

"Yuna! What in flying shoopufs happened to her?"

I ignored him. "Is Lulu there?" I asked desperately, having to raise my voice over Yuna's cries of pain.

Wakka didn't even pause before running off back into the house to fetch the black mage. While I waited, I focused on my wife, pressing my forehead against hers. Her skin was unimaginably cold, sending a shiver down my spine. I tried to calm her. "It's okay sweetheart…Lulu will be here soon." She stifled another cry, her grasp on my shirt tightening.

"Tidus…"

"It's okay, I'm right here. I've got you." Seeing her like this was tearing me apart.

"Tidus…I'm sorry."

"Shhhh…don't worry now," I whispered, placing a quick peck on her forehead. Although I had no idea why she was apologizing.

"Yuna! Oh Yevon! Bring her with me to the temple quick!" It was Lulu, finally; her long, black, silken nightgown billowing in the soft breeze. I was surprised when I saw that her hair was down; her long black locks reaching down far past her waist. We moved as quickly as we could with our precious cargo, Lulu keeping up with me, watching over her.

We ran inside into the incredibly large and elaborately decorated area, running for a smaller door, equally intricate looking door on the right, tucked just behind the huge staircase that served as the entrance to the Cloister of Trials. Lulu escorted me to a bed and instructed me to lay her down carefully, while she ran off to grab the temple priest. Naturally, I waited with her, clutching her shaking hand tightly for support. I could do nothing to stop her suffering and I couldn't help but see how helpless and useless I was in this situation.

"Tidus…" Yuna squeaked, abruptly shattering my dejection.

I rubbed soothing circles on the top of her hand. "It's alright now. Lulu will be back with help soon." I was having more trouble convincing myself rather than her. "I promise you'll get better. Then we'll take the baby home and…"

"…I'm sorry."

"Yuna—"

"Tidus move!" A voice boomed from behind me, roughly pushing past, dragging me to my feet and pushing me to the doorway. I still had a hold of Yuna's hand, her grip just as strong as mine was amongst all the chaos. She didn't want me to leave either.

"Hey! Just what do you think you are doing?"

"We'll help Yuna," Lulu explained quietly, her lips lowering to level of my ear. "But to do that, we need you out of here. We'll call you when we're done." I heard my wife scream in pain behind me, making me hesitate. I knew that Lulu was not the type of person to mess around with when she was desperate or angry. But I couldn't just leave Yuna here by herself…

"**Go**!" Lulu shouted, pushing me out past the threshold and promptly slamming the door before I could even turn around. I heard the priest's mumblings and Yuna's yelling, although muffled through the door. I sank to my feet, defeated. I guess I really couldn't help her at all. Instead I would be forced to endure the torturous prospect of waiting. Listening. Hoping.

I don't know how much time passed as I sat there waiting; my heart clenched in the agony of not knowing. Wakka tried several times to talk to me, comfort me…doing everything he could to make me feel better. I wanted to tell him that I was grateful that he was worrying about me, but I couldn't even listen to what he was saying. I couldn't focus on anything other than the fact that Yuna was in there, hurting, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to help her. Tears slipped down my cheeks as I held back a sniffle. My friend didn't seem to notice.

Eventually Wakka gave up, and I drifted off just somewhere after dawn into a shallow, restless sleep with my head resting on my knees. I don't think it was long, because when I did wake up, it was still quite early in the morning. I wasn't however, woken up the way I had expected…the way I had _wanted._

Thinking back on it, it was probably the single most heart shattering thing that had happened to me in my entire life up to that point.

I heard Yuna scream. In pain, yes…but not in the kind I had come to expect. It was somehow so much more menacing…raised in the highly pitched tone of unexpected grief.

And she kept screaming. I heard what sounded like Lulu and the priest trying to calm her, but if anything the sound just continued to get louder. I'd had enough of waiting. Something was terribly wrong…

I stumbled to my feet, still groggy from my brief nap. Instead of knocking I simply opened the door, and stormed in. Immediately, my eyes zoomed in on Yuna's violently trembling body on the bed, and Lulu's vain attempts at calming.

"Yuna…?"

She didn't stop, but the black mage's head snapped up then when she heard me. Her gazed flashed rapidly from the Priests' to mine, signaling to him with a small inclination of her head. He was instantly at my side, trying to escort me forcefully from the room.

"I'm sorry," he said calmly, pushing me further toward the door. "We are not done with the patient yet."

"'_The patient'_?" I exclaimed in blatant disbelief, "that's **_my wife_** in there!"

"I know that Sir, but…" he tried to say quietly, but I had had enough.

"No! No more buts!" I ripped myself away from his side and forced myself back into the room. "Lulu! You'd better tell me what the hell is going on!" I demanded angrily, painfully aware of Yuna still bawling her eyes out on the bed in front of me. She only looked at me, my expression pleading as I tired to ignore my wife momentarily in my search for answers.

She backed away from her adoptive daughter then, her expression enfolding into a mask of sadness and pity. She closed her eyes and looked away, talking just loud enough for me to hear over Yuna's moaning. She didn't say anything for a moment, and I followed her gaze when her lids finally opened. They remained focused on the small bench encircling the large marble pillar in the middle of the room. A small object was the only thing on the table, wrapped carefully in a thick, dark blue cloth in order to conceal its identity.

"What…?"

But then I made the connection, and instantly snapped my head away. "Oh God…" I chocked.

And for some inexplicable reason, Lulu felt the need to clarify my fears of what was under all that material.

"I'm sorry, Tidus…it's dead."

* * *

A/N: And so it all begins to progress. Sorry. I know that you all probably hate me after that, but there is a reason I had to do that, which you will find out later on in the story. Most of which, thankfully this time, is already written. I just usually just do a quick edit before posting every week. I left a HUGE hint as to the identity of my 'villain' as such. If you don't know, well, you'll just have to wait and see I guess. :P

Chapter 4: Recovery

Coming next week. Please Review. Enjoy.

_Warui-Usagi_


	4. Recovery

**Bittersweet Reminiscence: Chapter 4**

**Recovery**

A/N: Okay, I just couldn't resist posting the next chapter early. The suspense is **_killing _**me with this story, LOL. I think I'm enjoying it more than you guys. However, posting this early means no new chapter until mid-next week because of stupid exams…Grrrrr. But, come Tuesday afternoon, I'm on holidays for three weeks in which I will have nothing better to do _but _to write:D I can't wait!

* * *

She was broken after that day. But she wouldn't let me help her pick up the pieces.

She simply pretended they weren't there…that they only needed to be forgotten.

But they had cut her deep, leaving heavy scars…and it had cut me too.

The only difference was that I was the one left to bleed.

"_Yuna…I promised."_

"_This may be the end; but you will be mine. Always." _

* * *

"_It's not you're fault," I assured her, rubbing her back soothingly. She instantly shied away from my touch, and although a little shocked, my eyes followed her as she rose from the bed fluidly and walked to the window. She leant her head up against the mahogany pane gently, looking out into the conflicting bright, happy, sunny day—the complete opposite of what I knew she was feeling._

"_Isn't it?" She asked dryly, keeping her vision firmly locked on the children I could hear playing outside. She felt like she'd never get to experience that I know. I adjusted myself more comfortably on the sheets, watching her. Her expression was oddly indifferent, but knowing my Yuna, she was just pretending. For some reason, it made me feel strangely uneasy._

"_No, it's not. And you know, you can cry. You're not in a meeting with the leaders of Spira…this isn't your pilgrimage…you're not talking with a complete stranger here. It's me. Only me."_

_She chuckled bitterly. "What's the point? It won't do any good."_

"_Why?" I asked, puzzled._

"_Because," she started, and right after she had spoken, a peel of thunder shot across the sky. The children's happy cries turned into screams of surprise and horror. She turned to face me then, and I saw the true extent of her grief. A small, shallow smile was painted on her pale lips, but her eyes…they were black. Nothing. Inside, she must have been screaming in agony._

_It scared me. She ignored my expression and gestured toward the glass once again. Small beads of water streaked the glass. She watched._

"_A storm comes. Soon…the heavens will do all the crying for me. For the both of us."_

_------------------------------------------------_

"Yuna? I'm home!" I shut the door quietly and made my way through our living area and into the kitchen. Lulu had graciously given me some soup that she had mad for Yuna. I quickly served it up in bowl and laid it out nicely for her on the table. It had only occurred to me just then that I hadn't seen her since I'd arrived home…she hadn't even come out to say hello.

"Yuna?" I called again, now leaving the kitchen and venturing down the bland wooden hall that linked the few, modest bedrooms in the house together. I couldn't see her anywhere and as I result I panicked. I came to the end of the hallway only to find that she wasn't in our bed, and my heart tightened at the sight. She was still pretty sick and I hated it when I found her walking around too much.

Pacing furiously back the other way, I checked the bedrooms on the other side. I stopped abruptly when I saw what looked like her small frame curled up on the floor. The blinds in the room were drawn shut, small slithers of the afternoon light were peeking through; sending her silhouette dancing across the white walls. She seemed peaceful enough; her simple white dress tucked under her legs as she slept. I didn't want to wake her, but it was growing cold…fast. I didn't want to think about what would happen if I left her here.

"Hey," I nudged her gently, carefully, just enough to make her stir. Her beautiful sapphire and emerald eyes fluttered open and automatically focused on my face. She smiled. "Good morning," she said, her voice cracking as she hoisted herself up onto her elbows. Her eyes never mine.

I forced myself to stifle a giggle. "It's not morning, Yuna. It's afternoon." Her vision roamed the room, and her face adapted a melancholy expression for an instant. Her gaze returned to me then, a small smile on her lips; but it did not touch her eyes. The sadness was still there.

"Oh," she whispered after awhile, suddenly looking away. "I guess I lost track of time."

She was being evasive again. Her words reminding me of the sphere I saw of Rikku. A jolt of pain rattled my chest at the thought, but I fought it back, trying to distract myself by questioning my wife. "Why were you in here?" I asked sharply. My tone was harsh, and it had surprised her. The thought of that blasted sphere had made me momentarily bitter.

She took a moment to answer, her tone making it seem as if she was admitting a horrible weakness. "I just…can't let go," she confessed, rubbing her shoulders as an attempt to self-soothe. "I know that sitting here…in the nursery isn't helping, but…"

"Yuna-"

"It was a girl you know," she said suddenly, both interrupting me and erasing the emotion in her voice. "I know that you said that you didn't want to see because you thought that it wouldn't help, but it was." She spoke happily, briefly. And I knew that her mind was off dreaming about the possibilities of the baby's life had it not died. I instantly regretted bringing the whole topic up because it only made Yuna unnecessarily upset, and the priest had told me to prevent any stress at all costs as it would hinder her recovery.

"Our little girl…" I mumbled, distracted.

I myself couldn't help but imagine what our little girl's life would have been like. And just like Yuna, there were tears forming in my eyes as well, but I forced myself to swallow them.

"It doesn't help Yuna…it just makes the pain worse," I said softly, watching her back as she leaned casually up against the window, her outstretched palm running across her abdomen.

"You can't just run away from pain, Tidus," she answered in a disturbingly indifferent tone.

"Yeah, well you can't just bury it either!"

She turned towards me then; and I forced my temper down. "I'm sorry."

She didn't say anything.

I growled.

"We aren't handling this very well are we?" Yuna sighed.

"No," I admitted. "We're not handling each other very well either." I closed my eyes, trying to find some way out of this whole mess. What _could _we do? At that point, I didn't think that Yuna and I could be any further apart. A part of me had hoped that, with the birth of our baby, it would save our marriage and close that rift that had opened up between us. When I opened my eyes, Yuna was still by the window, her hand awkwardly resting on her shoulder as she continued to stare nonchalantly out the window.

"Hey…Tidus?" she asked after a moment, breaking the tense silence. I was almost relieved, but the uncertainly and reluctance that colored her tone urged me to be cautious. "Yeah?"

"I've been thinking…" she trailed off, obviously lost in her thoughts. I was in no rush to hear them, because I knew that whatever she was trying to tell me wasn't going to be something I would want to hear. I wasn't far off the mark either.

"I think I should start work again. It should serve as a great distraction from all of this don't you think? It might be healthy."

I instantly disagreed. "No," I said sternly. "Healthy for _you_ maybe, but certainly not healthy for our marriage. We're falling apart Yuna…can't you _see_ that?" There were many unspoken implications in my objection that I hoped she would grasp, and to some extent I think she did.

"I still love you, Tidus. I have no intension of getting a divorce." She wouldn't say it to my face though, and that was the thing that worried me the most.

I approached her, wanting this conversation to be had face-to-face. "I know that," I said, although my voice was far from convincing. I placed a hand on her shoulder and watched as she turned to look at me; her bi-coloured eyes shimmering with secretive troubles. "So why don't you stay?"

Her eyes flew to mine briefly before rapidly turning away again. Her voice was unsteady when she replied, and there was something in it that made me almost believe that what she said was indeed fact. "I don't know if I can."

"Hey," she said suddenly, distracting me from how she was acting before. "Did you know that pyreflies can be altered so that they can become just about _anything_? We haven't researched it properly yet, but from what we can tell, they have an extraordinary ability to materialize anywhere in almost any circumstance. It just requires the power of the mind."

"And the reason you're telling me all this is…?"

But she only winked at me, preferring to stay cryptic. "Just rambling," she admitted sheepishly.

I took at step towards her, cupping her chin in my hands as I leant my forehead against hers. "Getting back on topic…" I suggested, watching her expression shift again. She tried to look away but I kept her gaze locked on mine. "What makes you think you can't stay?"

"I just…can't," she hedged, eyes darting everywhere but to mine, "it's important."

"And I'm not?" I challenged.

"Tidus…" she sighed angrily, "stop being difficult."

"_Please_? Can't you just _think_ about it at least?" I sounded desperate I know. I didn't want to bring up the sphere…probably because I was so busy denying that it existed…that Rikku didn't mean what she had said. I almost went to check if it was still on her desk, but that would just be tempting trouble. She still hadn't said anything yet.

"_Yuna…_?" I begged, this time kissing the corner of her mouth. "I'll do anything."

I was surprised when I kissed her again, only to taste a salty substance on her lips. She'd been crying obviously, and although I didn't know exactly _why _she was, I knew then what her answer was…and of course, that there would be no changing it. I smiled as I looked at her, wiping away the tear trails carved down her pale cheeks.

"Fine. I guess I lose. But…" I trailed off, watching her intently. She finally looked up at me then; her gaze clouded with her own worries. And I knew that they had nothing to do with us. But that was my Yuna…always helping and concerned about others, even if she herself was sick or unhappy. It was what I both loved about her the most, and hated about her the most. She had that extraordinary ability to put others before herself, a wonderful gift that few possessed, but she _never _seemed to worry about her own wellbeing, and that always made me worry. She was reckless like that.

"At least stay with me for tonight," I whispered. She smiled weakly, and I knew that it was forced…her eyes showing the true extent of her pain. But I was happy, because it was the first one I had seen in weeks. At least she was trying to recover.

I leant in and kissed her then; eagerly seeking out her cold lips. She responded enthusiastically to the sensation, throwing her arms around my neck as encouragement. My arms snaked their way around her small waist, pressing her to me as I lifted her in my arms and carried her out of the nursery, down the hall and into our bedroom, kicking the door shut. Our clothes were ripped carelessly from our bodies and left strewn on the floor in our wake. Our lips remained cemented, unable to remove ourselves from one another.

We remained like that with each other all night; our bodies seeking out each other's warmth as we stirred gently amongst the sheets. Her touch was always soft; reluctant…I didn't know if it was what we _should_ have been doing at that moment. Perhaps we _should_ have been talking about our problems, about why Yuna cried, even as she lay there underneath me, seemingly safe in my arms. We _should_ have stayed together the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that…

But we didn't.

That night Yuna fell asleep in arms…she seemed at peace. Almost as if nothing worried her now as she lay comfortably tucked against my chest, my arms encircled protectively around her waist. And I almost believed that we were alright now…that all our problems were gone and only needed to be forgotten.

Almost.

Just as my lids drooped, the sphere on Yuna's desk glittered mischievously in the moonlight streaking across her desk through the curtains. I tried to ignore how uneasy that made me as I drifted off to sleep. I dreamt.

"_You can't run away from pain, Tidus…"_

'_Why not? You seem to do it all the time.'_

"…_you should tell Tidus what you're doing with Rin. Give the guy a break; he's worried about you, and to be honest so am I."_

'_What did she mean, Yuna?'_

"_A storm comes. Soon…the heavens will do the crying for me…for the both of us."_

'_Don't you love me anymore?'_

"_I still love you, Tidus. I have no intention of getting a divorce."_

'_Then why didn't you tell me?'_

"_I just…can't."_

'_Yuna…'_

"_I love you. I always have…I always will."_

'_Always.'_

That morning when I awoke, I knew our troubles were far from over…

Yuna was gone. Just like she always was.

But this time,she didn't come home.

* * *

She sat comfortably across from him in the small office, twisting in the office chair used for guests. He busied himself amongst his paperwork, pretending to be indifferent of her presence. She slammed her elbows down on the hard wood, resting her head upright in her palms as she stared at him, trying to gain his attention. He still ignored her, picking up a pen and writing on the document in front of him. She sighed in exasperation, throwing her arms in her lap. She was going to have to bargain with him if she wanted him to even acknowledge her. She jumped in surprise when a knock sounded on the other side of the door. Quickly she righted herself, trying to look as professional as possible.

"Excuse me Sir, but…" the door opened slightly, revealing the familiar face of a secretary.

"Come in," the man beckoned, finally looking up from his desk.

"Sorry Mr. Rin, but Praetor Baralai just called to organize another meeting with you as soon as possible," she explained, keeping a fair distance away from his desk…and his guest. She handed him the papers and he promptly ordered her to leave. She bowed before making her way out. "Good day sir,"—she turned to acknowledge his guest—"Lady Yuna," and then she left, closing the door behind her quietly.

Rin finally dropped his act, looking over at the beautiful woman sitting across from him. "I'm not giving you the report, Yuna. And that's final."

"And I'm not leaving until you hand it over," she asserted, rising to her feet and passing about the room in thought. "What if I gave you something for it?"

He scoffed. "You really want it that badly?" He asked in blatant disbelief, genuinely confused as to why she was so insistent on having it. "What do you plan to do with it once you get it anyway?"

"That's my business," she said simply, watching him rearrange himself more comfortably in his chair. "Now are you interested in bargaining?" she pressed, refusing to be sidetracked.

"That depends…" he mused, dubious.

"On what?"

"On exactly what you're offering. How much do you want this little old thing?" She turned towards him then and watched as he opened a draw at the side of the desk and pulled out a single sheet of paper, flashing it in front of her teasingly. He smirked as he watched her bi-colored eyes fix on the object in his hands. She was obviously willing to give up a lot to get her hands on it. This was all displayed to him by the look of pure determination glitering in her eyes.

He rose from his seat and approached her. "This is dangerous stuff to be dawdling in Lady Yuna," he warned, the look on his expression serious. "It would kill me to see something bad happen to you. I care for you a lot you know." Yet he handed the paper to her anyway, but his fingers still refused her complete ownership for the moment.

"Before you take it, tell me what I get," he whispered, his face only inches from hers now. She looked up at him, her expression at mixture of nervousness and deviancy. She swallowed the lump in her throat harshly, hoping to sound confident. She knew that he didn't want money, artifacts, spheres, or expensive objects. The look in his eyes clearly indicated that he had eyes for only one thing alone, and she _needed _that document if she was going to save Spira from anymore danger. She would promise him anything to get her hands on it.

Anything.

"You'll get **me**."

He grinned. "You'd give yourself to me for a stupid piece of paper?" he seemed amused by the idea as he pondered it. "And what would Tidus think?"

She watched him carefully as he stood looking down at her. When she replied her tone made it seem as if she was hardly interested in what he had said. "Tidus won't have to think anything because he'll never know," she said firmly, watching as arms caressed her cheek.

"Well," he started, letting go of the paper and handing it over to Yuna, "I'd be glad to take you up on your offer." Slowly then, he reached into his pocket and drew out a keycard. With his other arm, he reached for her free palm and eased the thin piece of plastic into her hand, wrapping her fingers around it to make sure she took it.

He smiled again. "I'll be expecting you in three days time at 5:00pm sharp." Yuna couldn't speak, so she just nodded. "I want that report back on my desk by then too," he asserted. "Baralai wouldn't be pleased to know that I've let you seen it. After all, it's a highly confidential matter you realize."

"Yes."

"Good. I would be seriously displeased if you decided to break your promise to me as well. But I am right in trusting in the High Summoner am I not?" He leant in then, placing a chaste kiss on her lips. Yuna remained completely still, eyes closed as her fists involuntary clenched at her sides. Soon after he broke away and made his way over towards the door, holding it open for her.

"You may leave now, my Lady," Rin instructed. Yuna took a deep breath to calm herself as she walked out the door, keeping her gaze downcast as she stepped past the threshold and out into the corridor. "Thank-you," she mumbled under her breath.

"You're most certainly welcome," he assured her, then closed the door. She walked briskly away from his office, around the corner and out of sight, winding through the vast and complex halls of the Bevelle temple. A shudder shot right down her spine and she suddenly found herself chilled, despite the fact that she knew it had nothing to do with the weather.

She continued her way through the building, exiting in less than a few minutes. She had gone in with an iron resolve, convinced that nothing could persuade her away from her goal. It was amazing how much Rin's question had bothered her; his words playing in a constant, nagging loop that almost made her crazy.

"_What would Tidus think?"_

She didn't want to think about it…but _not _thinking about it only made the buzzing dialogue in her head louder.

'…_He'd understand…he has no say in the matter anyway.' _

Silence. She sighed in relief.

"_Don't do something you will regret later Yuna."_

She stopped dead in her tracks…so much for being silent.

She bit her lip, but kept on walking, her clothes suddenly heavy with the wait of the keycard sitting comfortably in her pocket.

This was her decision. And it was already made.

'_I won't regret. Never.'_

_

* * *

_

And so ends another chapter! Woohoo! Don't know how long this is going to be, but I've written up until chapter 9 and that's when things are starting to get serious so…maybe 15 chapters? I don't know. Shouldn't be much more than that though, I imagine. Anywho, I hope you all enjoyed this one and plan on reviewing. That would be good too. :D

Chapter 5: '_Missing' _will be posted sometime in the very near future. I know I say a week, but sometimes it's less then that depending on how I feel and the amount of feedback I receive. Hint, hint. ;)

Until next time!

* * *

**Warui-Usagi****

* * *

**


	5. Missing

**Bittersweet Reminiscence: Chapter 5**

**Missing**

* * *

"_Will you protect me, Tidus?"_

"_Yes. I always will. Of course."_

"_Good. Then I promise that I'll protect you as well. I'll do everything I can…"_

_Yuna…_

_You may have protected me from harm…but in turn, you've destroyed my home._

_Because you **were** my home…and now, I have no where to go._

* * *

I awoke that morning to another day mute of sunlight; the usual rays that burst harshly through the curtains were dull and unfocused. Yuna was already gone, which was nothing suspicious. It did hurt a little though, but that was just the way she was…the way she worked. I could only hope now that, after last night, things might calm down between us. That those barriers that were their before were now gone. But, as is the case with every heroine…things in life were never that simple.

I slumped out of bed and into the kitchen, stumbling all over the place along the way…I never was a morning person—star blitzball player or not. Of course, I usually relied on the cold, brisk water of the sphere pool to wake me up. I didn't have that here in Besaid. For lack of a better word, it was a lazy island, where few people were up before midday. As far as I knew, Yuna was the only one who was up before dawn.

I staggered over towards the fridge, my eyes instantly distracted by a small piece of hideously bright paper attached to its bland surface. I rubbed at them vigorously before reading it.

'_Hey sweetheart, I'm going to be late tonight so don't wait up. Yuna.'_

Yep, life with Yuna was **_never_** that easy.

I scrunched the note up immediately as my fits involuntary clenched in anger. I threw it away quickly, now in absolutely no mood to even think about it. Not caring anymore, I grabbed an apple and threw myself down in a chair, fuming. I nibbled at the crisp skin of the piece of fruit, having suddenly lost my appetite. I honestly couldn't believe her. There was a part of me that wanted to argue that perhaps this had something to with her 'recovery'…maybe burying herself in work was what she really needed to serve as a distraction from what I knew had been a heart scaring experience. But that just meant that she didn't want to talk about her…_our _problems. They were our problems weren't they? Why did she feel as if she couldn't talk to me about them?

Then that stupid sphere came to mind…and without even thinking about it, I threw my apple hard across the room until it came into contact with a small vase on the kitchen counter, promptly knocking it from its small stand, falling, and smashing into a million pieces. It took me a moment to absorb what I'd just done; staring at its remnants for a few moments before bursting into fits of laughter. I couldn't stop…and I remember exactly why.

It was a vase that Rin had given Yuna the day she told everyone she was pregnant. Ahhh…the irony.

My chuckle was cut short though when I heard the familiar buzzing of a transmission coming through over the Commsphere. I grudgingly rose from my seat, knowing all too well that it could indeed be Yuna…and I was in no mood to speak to her now. Deciding it best to take precautions, I carefully slipped on the switch for the speaker, hoping that maybe if I didn't have to look at her, hopefully…I would be able to keep myself under control.

"Hello?" I asked warily over the speaker.

"Yuna?" Squeaked an all too familiar voice…she sounded urgent…worried.

"No it's Tidus," I replied, my throat instantly loosening. "What's up?"

"Is Yuna with you?" There was that desperation again. She spoke swiftly, and it took me awhile to realize what she'd said. I also distinctly noticed that she said 'Yuna' instead of 'Yunie', so something had to have happened.

"No," I said, surprised. "Why? Is something wrong?"

Rikku let out a shaky breath before explaining. "Well…I feel kinda bad for hearing this from Baralai, but he told me that Yuna had a…uh…that the baby died," her voice was a whisper now and I found it very difficult to hear her over the speakers static. She was obviously watching her words around me, probably thinking that I was just as upset as Yuna was. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't, I was just better at hiding it. To be perfectly honest, I was more concerned about Yuna's reaction…that actual baby hadn't crossed my thoughts in the last 24 hours.

"Anyway," she started, interrupting my train of thought. "She was supposed to meet me fro lunch today to discuss some…" she cut herself off suddenly, quickly editing something out of her sentence that I clearly wasn't supposed to know, "stuff…and she didn't turn up. I've been waiting here for over an hour! At first I thought that she was just late, but then I remembered that it was never like Yuna to be late…she'd only be late if something bad happened…so that's why I called—to see if she was okay."

I was stunned to say the least. For once, Rikku had managed to make a valid point that was almost impossible to argue. Yuna really was _never _late to anything…something _very _bad would have to happen for her to just not turn up, especially for something work-related. This wasn't just a colleague of hers calling either…this was Rikku—her best friend. She knew my wife just as well as I did…that made the matter even more suspicious. The whole idea of something _very _bad happening to Yuna almost had me hyperventilating over the speaker.

"You're right," I admitted regrettably, pinching the bridge of my nose in-between my fingers and taking deep breaths…trying to calm down. Less than five minutes ago, I had deemed myself too angry to even look at her. Now, she was all I wanted to see—her slender form waltzing casually through the door and meeting me in the kitchen, completely unharmed, simply admitting that she'd forgotten all about her lunch date with Rikku with that same beautiful smile that I loved.

It didn't happen.

I tried to think. "Where was she going before she was supposed to meet you? Surely you know her schedule."

"Uhhh…" I heard Rikku scrambling through what sounded like a folder; she was flipping paper at a frantic pace, almost tearing them.

"Well?" I prompted, quickly becoming impatient.

"Haha!" She'd obviously found the information she was looking for. "It says here that before she promised to meet me for lunch, she had actually planned to go and see Rin this morning."

I couldn't stop myself now. "**_What_**!" I heard Rikku shriek away from the inter-com, she'd obviously not expected me to scream over the speaker. I immediately forced myself to calm down. "Sorry," I apologized in a much more subdued tone. I flicked on the screen then, and watched Rikku check to make sure her hearing was still working. To my surprise, she was in exactly the same place where she had recorded that 'private' sphere for Yuna. I unconsciously growled.

"Ti? What's up with the whole 'trying-to-make-me-deaf' thing?" She accused sarcastically, glowering at me through the screen. I instantly regretted turning the thing on because now she could see me face and although I couldn't see it myself, I knew that it was probably plainly apparent that something was bothering me.

She looked around suspiciously before whispering, "did you and Yunie have a fight?"

"No!" I hissed, and she instinctively flinched away from the venom in my voice. I saw the pained expression on her face and instantly repented. "Well, we kind of did, but that's not really why I'm angry." I threw my head into my hands, closing my eyes to block out this hideous nightmare of a situation. I suddenly wished that I could wake up in bed; with Yuna lying next to me…that euphoric smile creeping on her lips as her beautiful eyes fluttered open to greet mine. I remember…

* * *

"_Hey," she croaked, her voice still raw from all of her speeches yesterday at the stadium. She'd just been promoted as a new 'leader' of sorts, but not really. She looked tired and groggy, her hair sticking out like a spiky haystack strewn all over the place. I stifled a giggle…she always did move a lot when she slept. Then, that glorious smile lit up her face, and I couldn't help but feel gratified at how truly beautiful she really was._

"_Hey there haystack head," I teased, rolling over to kiss her cheek. A chuckle bubbled up from her throat and I stayed there simply listening, committing the wonderful sound to memory. It sounded so happy…so pure._

"_Well you'd look like this too if you worked as I hard as I had to last night," she shot back in a mockingly outrageous tone._

"_Are you implying that I don't work hard? Being a star a Blitzball is harder than it looks ya know. And then all that sitting around, sleeping and eating I hafta do afterwards can really kill you, y'know."_

_She looked stunned for a moment, because I sounded serious. Then she burst out into a belly laugh, unable to stop. I gasped in overly exaggerated horror. "Are **you **making fun of me?"_

_But she only laughed harder. "You're so stupid…" she gasped in-between ragged breaths._

"_Hey!" I grabbed a hold of her wrists, trying to stop her thrashing about on the bed, feeling rather degraded by her name-calling. "That's not funny."_

_Again she just kept laughing, "yes it is and you know it!"_

"_Fine…don't stop making fun of me. But you'll just have to pay the consequences," I growled playfully, leaning over her horizontal form. She snickered at the suggestion. "Oh really? And what would they be?"_

_She was egging me on, I knew. "I'll just have to tickle you," I beamed, unable to stop from laughing myself._

_I began running my fingers lightly over her exposed skin, enjoying watching her flinch, giggle and gasp as she tried in vain to push my hands out of the way. I think I was giggling just as much as she was. It wasn't long before she gave in._

"_Okay, okay," she wheezed, still fidgeting, "what do I have to do to get you to show some mercy?"_

_I smiled in victory. "Kiss me."_

"_Why on earth would I do that?"_

_I kept poking at her sensitive skin until she surrendered. "Alright! Alright!"_

_Her lips flew at me with rapid speed, so fast that I swore our heads were going to collide. They didn't…before I knew what happened, there she was, her lips attacking mine, both giving in to the haze of passion that engulfed us…never wanting to let go._

"_Tidus…"_

_That day, we didn't get out of bed._

_

* * *

"Tidus?" Rikku asked, snapping me out of my pleasant reverie. "Are you okay? You look kinda pale from where I'm standin'."_

"I'm fine Rikku," I hedged, probably sounding rather un-convincing, but thankfully, she didn't feel the need to question me further.

"Anyway," she was still watching me carefully, but I gave her my full attention. "I think I have an idea, although I don't know if Yuna would want me to give it to you…"

Of course I was curious. "Give what to me?"

She looked at me, deliberating…almost as if she was having an internal dilemma with her choice. "Well, you see…Yunie has this 'special' box of things where she keeps a whole bunch of different stuff—spheres, letters, reports, objects that mean a lot to her. Stuff like that. Maybe we could look in there for clues."

I wasn't prepared to hear that. "She had a 'special' box and I didn't know about it? What's she trying to hide from me this time?"

"No, no!" Rikku was instantly contrite. "Don't get the wrong idea Tidus! Yunie loved…"—she stopped abruptly, swallowing hard—"Yunie _loves _you…she wasn't trying to keep secrets from you. All girls have some kind of little box where they store stuff away that's important to them."

'_Yeah right…'_

I couldn't think of a suitable response to that which didn't involve me replying with some sort of heavy sarcasm. "Oh."

"So ummm…I'll bring it over for you to look through this afternoon okay?" The uncertainty and worry was creeping back into her voice and I knew exactly why.

"Hey, don't worry Rikku. We'll find her," I promised…although, I had more trouble convincing myself with that notion.

She smiled. "Thanks, Ti. I'll see you soon!" And with that the sphere screen went blank.

I didn't get a chance to reflect very much on our conversation. Almost as soon as the hyperactive blonde hung up, a bellowing knock came on my front door; bell like echo's that sounded throughout the whole house. It was amazing how quickly I seemed to notice how empty this house felt without a family.

I was quite shocked when I answered it; the familiar form of a certain black mage appearing in front of me. I tried to greet her happily despite my dejection. "Lulu? What's up?"

"Nothing…" she said immediately, but her eyes told a different story. I knew she wanted to talk to me about something. I stepped aside wordlessly, allowing her to come inside, shutting the door behind me carefully. It was freezing outside after all. The rainy season seemed to be starting earlier this year I noticed belatedly.

"So…it's obvious that you wanted to talk to me about _something _seeing as you came inside."

Her voice was almost inaudible when she answered. "Yes. I thought it best to talk to you about it seeing as Yuna isn't here."

"Hmmm…" I bit my lip. She didn't need to know about her just yet, I rationalized. Better to actually confirm something's happened to her first then to whip Lulu up into a frenzy.

"I'm just going to ask you outright seeing as there is no other way of saying it," she spoke almost so fast that I had a hard time keeping up with her. "Yuna promised me that she'd tell you, and I need to know if she has…because it's important and I'm worried."

"Shoot."

"Did Yuna tell you exactly _why _she had a miscarriage?"

"No," there was an undercurrent to her question that I didn't understand. "I just assumed that it was a complication that occurred during the birth—"

"Tidus," she interrupted firmly, her expression intense. "The baby didn't die of complications; it died from the intervention of a…an outside source."

She was being more than a little cryptic. "What do you mean?"

"It drowned," she stated bluntly. "In an unknown, black liquid substance…I'm worried because I think Yuna knows what exactly caused it and she won't tell me. I thought perhaps you knew…"

I was too bewildered to speak, so I just shook my head.

Lulu sighed in frustration. "I can't stand her keeping secrets like this. I thought that after the pilgrimage, things would finally be different. Can't you talk to her?"

This, thankfully, was one question that I could answer without having to carefully compose a believable lie. "I've already tried. She won't quit…not now. Not ever." Pain shot through my chest just thinking about her…so I quickly changed the subject before it registered on my face. "So…uh…what do you know about the black liquid?"

"Not much," she admitted. She turned to me then, a wistful smile on her purple painted lips. "I'm so sorry I had to bring this up. I know how much it must hurt. I'm so worried about Yuna…she's just…switched off. I don't know how else to describe it." She looked away from me for a moment, her crimson eyes staring out past the forest setting outside the window, lost in thought.

"Do you know what she said to me, just after the whole ordeal?"

"No."

Lulu smiled, although it wasn't one of feeling. "She said 'I'm jealous of you, Lulu…'"

I shook my head. "I don't understand…why would she say that?"

She looked at me then, a sympathetic look in her eyes. "You know, I have no idea," she mused, dubious. "But I wish I did. The possibilities of what she meant are certainly keeping me up at night, worrying."

I didn't say anything, and the silence seemed to drag on uncomfortably, neither of us able to voice our worries to each other then. Finally, Lulu decided to speak up. "Well, I'll report to you if I find out anything." Her words hinted at her departure and to be honest, I was grateful that she was leaving. I didn't want her to be here when Rikku was here…that'd just complicate things.

"Okay, thanks Lulu." She left without another word, and I suddenly wondered if Yuna's disappearance had anything to do with that 'black liquid' the black mage had mentioned. I slumped back into the kitchen, depressed as I fell, exhausted into a chair. I was panicking now, realizing that there was even more that Yuna was keeping from me. It almost sounded as if she was leading a double life away from home. That thought unnerved me more that it should have.

I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting there, fretting like a helpless child without their mother. Eventually, Rikku showed up just as it was getting dark, and I mentally noted that the Al Bhed seemed just as depressed as I was.

"Hey," she offered weakly as she came into the kitchen. She smiled slightly, "I hope you don't mind; I kinda let myself in." She pulled out a chair and sat down delicately, placing a medium sized, wooden box down on the checkered cloth covering out kitchen table. It was beautiful—very Yuna, I noted. The golden swirls embroidered into the dark mahogany were particularly entrancing.

I asked the obvious. "This it?"

"Yeah," Rikku replied solemnly. "I've never seen inside it; I just remember watching her put it away one night…I knew I wasn't supposed to see, but I did." She did sound guilty. The normally hyper girl got to her feet then, about to walk out of the room. I gave her a puzzled look. "Where are you going?"

She sighed. "Like I said, I wasn't supposed to see. In there is Yuna's things—her memories…and yours. It's none of my business." She sounded disappointed, and I knew that she was fighting to curb her curiosity, though it was from idle. I admired her in that moment—it just went to show how much respect she held for her cousin, and just how much she loved her.

"Thanks," I whispered, and my voice was fervent with gratitude.

She simply grinned, but then her expression turned serious. "You better tell me if you find anything useful," she warned. "I'll be at Lulu's if you need me."

"Okay," I agreed, and watched her go.

When I heard the door close, I opened the box carefully, almost hesitantly as my fingers undid the small, simple lock on the front. The first thing that my eyes focus on, were the photos, placed face down. I immediately took them out, flipping them over to see what they displayed. My face, despite my sadness broke into a beaming smile at the sight; tears gathering in the corners of my eyes.

They were of our wedding…

We almost seemed like the surreal couple, looking at that picture. Both of us smiling widely, eyes sparkling with excitement about our future; each with high expectations and certainty of happiness…we would never have guessed then, that our lives would take such a negative turn…now, a year down the track…everything seemingly falling apart. I forced myself to wipe the water in my eyes away, and focus on finding out where my wife could be. I found several notes and things…and I planned to go through them later; right now I was looking for anything that was particularly eye-catching.

My breath caught in my throat when I found a pair of something small, blue and knitted of wool…

* * *

"_Whatcha up to in here?" I asked, finding her curled up on a beanbag with a small, thin blanket draped over her knees. She was in out baby's then-to-be-nursery, happily humming to herself as wound a pale blue thread around a pair of needles._

_She smiled up at me, excited. "I'm knitting out baby some woolen boots," she held them up for me to examine. "What do you think? Aren't they adorable?"_

"_Very," I agreed with a nod of my head._

"_I'm so excited to finally be a mother…something I thought I'd never get to do…especially when I started my pilgrimage…" she trailed off, lost in thought as she re-commenced her project, humming again. The tune was unfamiliar…yet sweet and lulling all the same._

_I giggled. "Did you write that?"_

_She stopped, looking up at me, that same, euphoric smile adorning her lips. "I did," she announced proudly, "it'll be our baby's lullaby." She resumed the singing and I couldn't help but adore her right then. She's thought of everything to do for our baby…it made me realized just how much she wanted this life. I was so happy, then…simply because she was._

_I was dimly aware of the color of the thread out of the corner of my eye. "Hey, aren't you being slightly biased there?" I said as I approached her, bending down a picking up the string that traveled across the carpet. "What if it's a girl?"_

_She sighed, pretending to be offended. "A girl can wear blue, too you know. Besides, I like blue…blue's calm."_

_I decided to have some fun. "Oh I don't know…" I trailed off, and she took the bait—she did to an extent, turning around and rolling her eyes at me before speaking. "Are you sure that's all blue is?" I prompted, watching her blush the instant the words came out of my mouth. She whirled around to face me, and not-so-playfully slapped me on the shoulder. _

"_What?" I asked innocently, "I was just saying…you told me that blue was your favorite color of something else once," I reminded her. "I was just perhaps wondering if **that **blue…let's say…oh I don't know…facial feature…had given you any inspiration for said boots." I pointed at them, and watched as she fought to repress a smile._

"_Maybe," she suggested lightly whilst shrugging. "I love you…"_

"_No! You can't get out of it that easily!" I protested, "you have to tell me why they're blue!" She ignored me though, setting her project down carefully in her lap and entwining her arms around my neck, pulling me close. My eyes however didn't miss the vivid crimson splashed across her cheeks as she nuzzled her head into my chest. _

_I heard her intake of breath. "You win," she sighed, her voice muffled by my shirt. "You know I've always loved your eyes."_

"_Thought so!" I laughed, drawing her in closer…but then I decided to be serious for a moment._

"_I love you too. Very much."_

_And we stayed like that all afternoon._

_

* * *

_

Sorting through the rest of the box's contents, I managed to find some other small objects and ornaments that I didn't recognize, as well as many postcards and letters that ranged from fan-mail to simply business letters.

A piece of cardboard at the bottom, hidden under everything else caught my attention, however. It was torn; obviously the other piece was somewhere else. On one side was an advertisement written in Al Bhed…I couldn't make anything much of it; the little of the language I knew had faded from my mind, as I had never really needed to use it since coming back. I noticed the pictures of machina and pyreflies and I was instantly curious. I would have Rikku translate it for me later. On the back, however, I noticed only a few words written in Yuna's easily recognizable and elegant script—a person's name it seemed…or two names…I couldn't tell.

_Keika _was one; a name that I didn't recognize, as well as one that sounded vaguely familiar, yet I couldn't place it. _Keiyakku._

Then it snapped.

Wasn't Keiyakku that Al Bhed guy Rikku tried to save when the Guado were burning down Home three years ago, whilst searching for Yuna? But, wasn't he _dead_? This was written recently too, and he died ages ago…why would Yuna have his name on the back of an advertisement _now_?

Another small piece of paper slipped from the pile in my lap, and I automatically picked it up, and started reading as it lay unfolded. This one was a letter.

_My Dearest Yuna,_

_You have hurt me more than you know; taking something from me and in return, not keeping your word, even though you promised me faithfully. You still have not returned the document either. I can only demand that you do so as quickly as possible. The only plausible explanation I can think of for your deceit is that perhaps you are running…from what I don't know, but I would be willing to run with you, to the other side of the universe…if you would only throw in that pathetic excuse of a marriage._

_I love you…_

_Rin _

I threw everything in the box then, and dashed out the door, running towards Lulu's place in search of Rikku.

It was then that I definitely knew that Yuna was missing…drowning in some kind of conspiracy that had perhaps gotten too far out of hand…

Perhaps she wasn't just missing either…maybe she was…

_No _I told myself. I wouldn't even think about that; I was her guardian…and I would get there in time to save her. That was it.

"Yuna…" I whispered to myself so low that even I barely heard.

"What have you gotten yourself into this time…?"

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the delay people—a girl's got to do her exams. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'm looking forward to having three weeks of uninterrupted writing time, so updates _should _be coming quite quickly. I wanted to post this almost about four days ago, but fanfiction wouldn't let me upload it because of all the traffic on this site.

Chapter 6: '_Mysteries' _up in a few days.

Warui-Usagi


	6. Mysteries

**Bittersweet Reminiscence: Chapter 6**

**Mysteries**

* * *

A/N: Here we have another update, people! Enjoy!

* * *

"_Why don't I dream of you when you're away, Yuna? I wouldn't be as lonely then."_

_She smiled. "We hardly ever dream of what we want…rather, we usually always dream of what we're afraid of."_

Tell me, Yuna…is that why I always see you leaving for the Farplane and leaving me behind?

If that be the case, then I'd rather not sleep at all.

* * *

_Beautiful orbs of light danced around her pale, unmoving figure as their cries echoed off the walls of the small room. The woman's jeweled eyes were sealed shut and her mocha tresses were strewn about her head in a rather chaotic manner. Her skin— usually warm and coloured— was now starch white and cold to the touch. She remained where she had fallen; amongst the dark and dirty debris surrounding what had once been the keeper of an aeon's soul. It had even been one of her aeons once, a pilgrimage that now seemed so long ago and hardly worth remembering. Now, it was the gateway to an abyss of the dead…where the souls of the departed roamed and the images of their former selves were summoned on a plane by their still grieving family._

_To the normal bystander, the girl's body didn't seem to show any signs of life and perhaps would be considered dead save for the rather troubled and tense expression frozen in place on her facial features._

_An even colder hand reached out to judge her condition, the fingers creeping slowly along her jaw-line and gingerly caressing her cheek. His touch was hesitant…regretful. He didn't want to do what he had already done…this girl had actually tried to save him from an eternal, unsent existence without his beloved…he didn't want to have to hurt her. But he wasn't ready to rest…he didn't want to…not when his life…and his lovers life had been taken away so cruelly. He wanted to live…he wanted his girlfriend to live…and this girl resting under his palm had tried to interfere. He tried to warn her—subtly at first…and then his final warning came with the death of her baby._

_And she **still** didn't listen._

_So now, here she was…unconscious…in a coma…almost dead. It was her fault…her own doing. He couldn't bring himself to simply kill her, though. Not when, only a year ago, she had risked everything to ensure his happiness. But he was just as ready to risk everything too…everyone on this continent…to ensure his plans for life were not interrupted. There was also something else preventing him from putting an end to her life, and it was a characteristic that he resented within himself. She looked so much like **her**…and he hated her for it…because it reminded him of just how much he wanted his girlfriend back…and just how impossible that was at this point. And while he may have shown mercy to one particular girl, he had absolutely no intention of being as 'polite' to others who may continue down the same, perilous path as she did. _

_He knew she was famous…and that soon, people would come looking for her. He knew she must have a lover…a husband who would be worried. But he had no intention of giving her back until he got what he wanted._

"_I truly am sorry," he whispered to her still form as he gently cupped her cheek. The fact that he couldn't feel her skin because he was only a shadow on his former self did not escape his notice or, was it in anyway new to him. _

_But as he watched her face, he found himself suddenly angry. "It was your fault, you know. I didn't want to…but then you just kept…and even after I warned you not to…" _

_He involuntary winced when a loud boom echoed from somewhere above his head. Someone was coming down here he figured, and he couldn't afford letting them escape once they saw his 'guest.' He could here the footsteps now; walking swiftly with purpose…or perhaps fear. This person had been sent to reluctantly investigate he presumed, yet he did not know who had sent him. He was in control here; he preoccupied the mind of the one who ran this place. He was momentarily puzzled, but then decided an instant later that it didn't matter…_

_Because he would die anyway._

_He turned to the High Summoner sprawled at his feet. "Excuse me," he offered in a mocking polite tone. "But I'm afraid I have to go and deal with our new visitor." He then passed through the already closed door to the small chamber and as soon as his presence dissipated from the room, only the small flickers of light emitting from the pyreflies stopped the young woman's body from being completely immersed in darkness._

* * *

"Rikku!" For the first time since I returned to Besaid, I didn't knock on Lulu and Wakka's door. Manners seemed to be the last thing on my mind. Clutching the elaborate box tightly, I carelessly flung aside the drapes hanging in various doorways throughout the house until I happened upon the kitchen and came across Rikku and Lulu sitting conventionally in the kitchen, chatting. The words rushed out of my mouth so fast, my head had a hard time keeping up with what I was saying.

"I found something! It's an advertisement from Djose Temple about pyreflies and machina—"

"What are you talking about? What's going on, Tidus?" Lulu interrupted, her eyes watching me carefully.

My jaw tightened instantly, fighting back the impulse to explain to her why I was so concerned about this stupid piece of paper. I didn't want Lulu to know Yuna was possibly in danger. It wouldn't bode well with her. My immediate instinct was to pretend to brush it all off as insignificant, but I knew she'd pick up on my lying—she was analyzing my expression too closely.

"Oh, goody! You found the advertisement? I've been looking for it everywhere!" Rikku suddenly jumped to her feet, a wide grin plastered on her face. The black mage only gave the blonde a skeptical look as the thief purposefully averted her gaze away from Lulu's eyes. "Now I can finally look into this job…Yunie did say she found me something I'd be interested in. Come on, Tidus—I'll talk to you about it back at your hut."

She grabbed my arm roughly and began tugging me towards the door. I was taken aback by how much strength someone so small could have; I was too busy watching Lulu and making sure she didn't cut me down for such an obvious and ridiculous aversion from the truth. But she didn't move and I could tell that she was puzzled by our behavior. I got the feeling that when Rikku had something to hide; her definition of _'_act natural' was to take up eating grass and hope that no one would notice she was acting strange.

"Wait," Lulu called firmly. I froze, but Rikku managed to turn around to see Lulu's expression. I wonder what she looked like.

"Hmmm?" the young Al Bhed said casually.

"Good luck with your job application." Her voice was thick with implications and I knew then that she'd picked up that something was going on. No doubt she would do her best to find out later.

"Thanks."

* * *

"What the _hell _is _wrong_ with you?" Rikku screamed once we were safely back inside my hut. "Did you _want_ to die? Because honestly, Tidus…if you said just even one more _word_ she would have been over you like a fiend!" She continued her angry pacing around the room, shooting me a death glare every now and then from the corners of her eyes.

I hung my head. "I'm sorry, Rikku. I'm just so…so worried about her…"

"**So am I**!" she screeched at such level, I wondered if the whole island hadn't heard her. I winced—I'd never heard Rikku this angry before. "**Do you honestly believe that you're the only one who is**?"

"Rikku! Calm down!" I hissed in warning, hoping that Yuna's adoptive mother didn't burst in through the front door any time soon.

"**I won't just **'**calm**' **down**, **Tidus**!" She was facing me now; a furious fire burning in her green-swirled eyes. "**You're just so**…**_selfish_ sometimes**! **Both of you are**!"

"What do you mean?" I snapped, momentarily forgetting that I shouldn't have been fighting with her, but the pang I felt at her accusation caused my temper to fire up.

She took a deep breath to compose herself, and I heard her struggle to use a more subdued tone. Her anger was reigned in, her voice tight. "You both just…shut everyone out," she said matter-of-factly, and her irritation grew when she saw that I looked like I didn't understand.

"I feel like…like ever since you got back a year ago you've both just cut me off—like I'm not important anymore. You never tell me _anything_! I mean, I had to find out from Baralai that Yuna lost the baby. Do you have _any_ idea how much that hurt?"

"Rikku I—"

"Let me finish!" she snapped and I saw her fighting back the tears…she wanted me to listen. She looked away out the window, so I waited patiently to hear the rest.

"You've both obviously been having problems and you don't let us in. I'm not saying that you should tell us what's going on in your life every second of the day or anything…just that you shouldn't bottle it all up. I admit that I have no experience in relationships, but I'm here to talk to all the same. So are Wakka and Lulu, you know. You both just make me so frustrated…you know, with Yunie"—I felt a pang as she said her name, but ignored it—"I sometimes felt like I wasn't any use to her for anything other than running errands…and then there would be days when she'd come to work clearly distressed and I felt so useless because she wouldn't tell me anything."

Finally, Rikku's voice broke and the tears that she'd fought so hard against came loose; running small rivers down her flushed cheeks. "And you!" she croaked, pointing a shaky finger at my chest. "You're no better! Brushing me off all the time like I'd be no help…has the return of your Blitzball fame really made you _that _arrogant?"

I wanted to defend myself, but after looking her over, I decided it best to humor her just this once. The sacrifice of pride it entailed was nothing in comparison to losing Rikku as a friend…or so I thought.

"Probably," I sighed. Ouch.

She just stared at me, obviously not expecting me to say that at all. "Well it's the truth," she muttered while rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah well…I'm talking to you know aren't I?" May as well try as scrounge back as much of my pride as I could…or what little there was left of it anyway.

"Only because I came to you first," she corrected. "I doubt you would have said anything to me otherwise." She had a moot point there, but I'd be damned if I was going to admit it.

"You can't know that," I said simply.

"So what did you find?" she asked in an off handed tone, throwing in the towel at the same time.

I looked down at my hands, only to realize that the advertisement was still lying balled up in my fist. I un-scrunched the paper and handed it to her. Her eyes darted over the text and a few seconds later she looked up at me with a puzzled expression. "I've seen these flyers outside Djose temple, but I don't understand why you think this is important."

"Look on the back," I offered, and watch her turn the paper over.

"'_Kieka and 'Keiyakku',_" she read out aloud, then her eyes widened in understanding, no doubt thinking what I was when I found it. "But Keiyakku's…"

"…Dead, I know," I finished for her.

"That's Yunie's writing too," she affirmed. I watched her run her fingers lightly over the crinkled paper; the clogs inconspicuously turning in her mind.

"What does that say, Rikku?"

"Hmmm?" she looked up at me, and I could tell that I had pulled her from another train of thought.

"I said, what does that say?"

"Oh…it talks about the new research project that Rin started up…they're looking for volunteers to help with the merging of machina and pyreflies."

"What?" the word seemed inadequate, but I didn't know what else to say…

"Haven't you heard? Rin has launched an investigation on how we could eventually use the Farplane to power cites and such. I don't understand it all myself, but it's something to that effect."

I nodded distractedly, trying to figure out where I had heard something similar to that before. I didn't get a chance to dwell on it much, because Rikku interrupted with another question.

"Hey, Ti?" I was sort of listening, but not really.

"Yeah?"

"Why was Yunie upset a couple of days ago? Actually, she's been upset for sometime…do you know why?"

I knew that Rikku had caught me in a vulnerable moment and was trying to take advantage of it, yet I answered regardless. "We were fighting because…because she doesn't tell me what she's going through," my voice was barely audible and I noticed Rikku lean in slightly to catch my words. "She doesn't talk about work, and I just wanted to know why…she's out to protect everyone she can, but she doesn't understand that it leaves her exposed to danger."

"That's Yunie, alright," Rikku said with a sad smile.

"I don't know what to do with her! She won't let me in, and it's infuriating!" In the heat of the moment, I briskly knocked her box from the table; watching the objects and papers inside fly about the room as the box clattered open and empty of the floor. I threw my head into my hands, breathing deeply. "Sometimes, I swear she thinks I don't care…but it's not that—I'm just reckless and stupid."

"Yes you are," Rikku agreed with a giggle that lacked amusement.

'_Yes I am…'_

* * *

"_Tidus!" Yuna exclaimed, and I heard her running through the house to find me._

"_I'm in here!" I called back, folding the last of my clothes and placing them in the bag on our bed before zipping it up tightly. Another Blitzball tournament to attend, and another trophy to win…crowds cheering, autographs to sign…I was pretty psyched up._

"_There you are!" she beamed, her eyes glittering brightly with happiness. I looked up and smiled back in an equally good mood…but then I watched as it was all washed from her face in an instant and replaced with one of reserve and worry. I followed her gaze and saw it fixed on our bed or more specifically…_

_My travel bag._

"_Where are you going?" she asked in a tone that I couldn't quite decipher—it was a mixture of anger and surprise. It caught me off guard because there was only ever one reason why I had it out. "Blitzball," I answered anyway, and gave her a confused look as to why she would ask such an obvious question._

"_But you told me the game was next week, not today." She was definitely angry._

_I shrugged. "Oh, Lenny told me that it was re-scheduled to today because someone else had booked the stadium for next week."_

"_What about the party today? The whole village has been planning it for days…and I have a surprise remember?"_

"_Oh yes, you're big announcement that you won't even tell me about," I'd meant to sound playful, but somehow bitterness crept into my voice._

"_But I need you today," she said simply and I heard all too clearly the pleading in her voice. But if I stayed home, we'd be disqualified from the tournament which was not an option. When I didn't answer, her words whipped out low and harsh. "Wakka's staying, you know—Lulu wanted him to."_

"_Well then that means I'll definitely have to go if he's staying behind…why is he, exactly?"_

_Her expression was unfathomable. "Because I wanted him to—I want **all** my family here today. Rikku, Paine, Brother, Buddy, Shinra and Cid are all going to be here too."_

"_Oh? Well with all them, I can hardly see why you would need me," I said while picking up my bag._

"_Please, Tidus…please stay," she begged and I saw she was on the verge of tears. I just didn't understand—it was just a party, after all…nothing new on Besaid, we had them all the time._

_I dropped my bag and went over to where she was standing in the doorway, wrapped my arms around her back and drew her in, kissing her hair. I heard her sniff and pulled her back to look at her face. She purposefully averted her gaze to the floor and I was suddenly curious as to what had triggered these mood swings._

"_Tell me what's wrong," I whispered, still trying to meet her eyes._

_She ignored me. "Tidus…can't you stay just this once?"_

"_But we've been training for this for months; we can't just throw it away for a party."_

"_It's not **just **a party!" she protested, crudely shoving me away. "This is a very important gathering—particularly for you!"_

"_What in the world are you talking about?" I picked my bag up again, "we have parties here all the time, and it's not like it's my birthday or anything, so why all the fuss?" _

"_Why can't you listen to me?" _

"_You don't understand what you're asking me to do!"_

"_I just want you to stay—I need you more than anything today, it's really important to me." She ran to me then, throwing her arms around my torso and burying her face in my chest. I stood there, unmoving for a moment before I pulled her back to give her a quick peck on the cheek. "Tell me about everything when I get back, alright? I love you."_

_And I left. When I came back the two days later, I was in a foul mood. We had lost the tournament to the Luca Goers and my mind was in hysterics. The whole time I couldn't stop thinking about Yuna, and why she had behaved that way. I didn't understand, and I was angry—angry because I'd lost, and angry because I was angry…_

"_Yuna?" I called when I opened the door. The house was silent; which was what I was expecting…sort of. I walked through the usual rooms, navigating my way through to the bedroom. That was when I saw her lying on our bed, curled up with her back to me. I sighed as I slumped onto the mattress, dropping my bag at my feet. As I eased my boots off; I noticed numerous, brightly colored boxes at the end of our bed. They were presents, obviously, but the wrapping hadn't been touched at all._

"_Hey," I said. She didn't answer._

"_How was the party?" Still didn't answer and I knew she wasn't asleep._

"_We lost the game by the way." Nothing._

"_Fine," I snapped, rising to my feet. "I'll be out in the kitchen if you decide I'm worth talking to."_

"_Don't you want to know?" she said suddenly when I was just about to walk out._

_I turned around and walked back over to the bed and sat down. "Know what?"_

"_What my surprise is…" she said nonchalantly. She shrugged it off, like it had lost all of its importance and mystery now…as if it didn't mean anything to her._

"_Of course I do," I said as cheerfully as I could._

_She turned then to meet my face. I was surprised by her apathetic expression, but once again it was her eyes that gave her away—they were full of uncertainty, anger and sadness; a dark contrast to the look on her face._

_It was only after she had spoken, did I understand the uncertainty in her eyes. _

"_I'm pregnant."_

_

* * *

_

"Are you going to help me clean this up or not?" Rikku asked, snapping me out of my reverie. I looked down to see her stacking papers and neatly re-arranging objects. I sighed as I bent down to help her with the mess, not really paying attention to what I was doing when the hard cover of book fell under my palm. I picked it up to examine it, only to find that it was a diary. It was more the shock of actually _finding _it that prevented me from saying anything to Rikku at first. Yuna had told me that she hated the things and never kept one. Figured though; something else that she _conveniently _forgot to mention.

As I ran my fingers over the dark leather cover, a small, white piece of paper slipped out, and I immediately picked it up and began to read it.

_Moral Dilemma here…_

_The one person I want to tell the most about what's been going on in my job, is the one that I can never tell. I made a promise that I would protect him from the dangers that so constantly seem to follow me and I must honor that promise. I know I make him worry because I'm so tight-lipped about everything. I even make him angry, though his anger is understandable._

_I received a love letter today from a five-star pervert who I've cold bloodedly led on—I stole something from him. And what's worse is that I've made him a vile promise that I have every intention of breaking. I really hate to think about how much it would hurt Tidus if he knew. I've violated our relationship in the most horrible way…and my end justifies the means? I need this creep to blackmail Baralai and the horrible thing controlling him…yet I don't know if I can reach him anymore; he is lost to his own guilt—a guilt that was resolved and yet he continues to mourn the loss of his life. He was never able to protect the one he loved, and so I must do what he could not. I must fight back my selfish craving for peace of mind just a little longer…when everything is resolved I can then pour my heart out to him, just like I've wanted to do ever since I met him across the campfire all those years ago._

"Whatcha readin' there Ti?"

"Huh?" I looked up to see Rikku right in my face, and I instantly jumped back in surprise.

"You look kinda sad…everything okay?" she asked in genuine concern, although there was humor deep in her eyes.

"Everything's great Rikku," I smiled with some effort as I placed the paper and the diary on the floor beside me. "I was just thinking about some stuff, that's all."

I picked up the letter and handed it to Rikku, and she was surprised when I did it. "Remember? We're past all the evasion now."

She smiled as she took it, and for the rest of the day we discussed the possibilities of what our next move could be. It was just before she left; the sun having since long set, that the break Rikku and I had been hoping for appeared. The Commsphere started buzzing, the familiar sound of a transmission. I definitely wasn't expecting the news it conveyed though.

"Tidus, it's Baralai…we haven't been able to reach the passages under Bevelle for nearly three days now—around about the time your wife went down there to investigate some bizarre behavior." Rikku and I gulped as we watched his serious face. "I won't lie to you," he said softly, "but we fear for her life…something down there has her, and doesn't want us to go looking for her either."

My head started to spin and it was only when I drew in a ragged breath that I noticed that I had stopped breathing.

"How does he know all this?" Rikku asked hysterically, eyes glued to the screen.

As if to answer her question, he stepped aside, revealing a message written out in thin, spiny, red letters across the high-bridge—located directly in front of the entrance to Bevelle temple. I couldn't see Baralai any more, but his usually calm voice, tainted now by distress, carried easily to my ears. "We sent someone down to look for Lady Yuna yesterday. He didn't return. When I went to leave the temple to meet with someone, I found this…and the guard's body was found next to it," he finished grimly.

The warning read: _'Your precious High Summoner is safe…for now. If you want to see her alive again, don't interfere…or she will be killed.'_

_

* * *

_

A/N: Sorry for the delay—I didn't count on a virus completely annihilating half of my word documents.

Chapter 7: '_Found_' will be posted soon.

Please Review.


End file.
